too long; didn't read

classics in 180 characters or less

Top tl;drs

The Hobbit

J. R. R. Tolkien


A bunch of little people mug a dragon

259 Upvote | 23 Downvote

The Bible



One woman's excuse for an affair that got completely out of hand.

278 Upvote | 67 Downvote

Where's Waldo

Martin Handford


fucker wearing red stripes hides like a bitch

223 Upvote | 28 Downvote

Calvin and Hobbes

Bill Watterson


A kid's parents think his real tiger is stuffed

231 Upvote | 56 Downvote


who knows


[citation needed]

193 Upvote | 42 Downvote


Stephenie Meyer


utter shit.

225 Upvote | 91 Downvote

The Dictionary

Noah Webster



186 Upvote | 52 Downvote

The Odyssey



Odysseus dicks about Greece for 10 years whilst his wife gets hit on.

138 Upvote | 6 Downvote

Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling


he can't bang his best friend, so he settles for the redhead.

130 Upvote | 37 Downvote

American Psycho

Bret Easton Ellis


Man goes on killing spree, nobody cares

105 Upvote | 16 Downvote


Carl Sagan


Look at stars. Smoke weed. All day errday.

112 Upvote | 25 Downvote

Sailing Alone Around the World

Captain Joshua Slocum


Man sails around the world. Alone.

84 Upvote | 3 Downvote

The Diary of a Young Girl

Anne Frank


Nazi Germany sucks.

88 Upvote | 7 Downvote

Oedipus Rex



oedipus leaves home in fear of a prophecy. oedipus fucks his mom and kills his dad. he fills the prophecy. oedipus gouges his own eyes out. happy ending.

86 Upvote | 6 Downvote

Invisible Man

Ralph Ellison


everyone ignores the black guy.

83 Upvote | 6 Downvote

The Great Gatsby

F Scott Fitzgerald


Party, party, party, let's all get wasted.

87 Upvote | 11 Downvote

The Bible



It's about a zombie, but the twist is, the zombie is the good guy!

110 Upvote | 36 Downvote


William Shakespeare


don't trust women.

83 Upvote | 10 Downvote

If You Give A Moose A Muffin

Laura Numeroff


Moose totally abuses a kids hospitality. Eating muffins, stretching sweaters, destroying socks, and spilling paint on sheets.

68 Upvote | 2 Downvote


Louis Sachar


Boy accused of stealing shoes. didn't. sent to dried lake. digs holes. climbs a mountain and finds treasure. proves innocence. Dad makes foot powder.

77 Upvote | 12 Downvote